Sunday, November 29, 2009

Christmas and why my parenting is different

I love Christmas. Like really really really love it. I cannot wait until Christmas morning to see the looks of joy on the faces of my children as they come downstairs and see the lit tree, the presents and their bikes!

I have so few good memories from my childhood, but Christmas was almost always one. I want my kids to have that joy, that magic, that complete delight that I did.

My mother was not a good mother. She was just not. I'm not going into specifics publicly, but it wasn't a good childhood. I had absolutely no trust for her by the time I was four.

The memories of Christmas is part of why I wanted to change the way I parented my children. Christmas was such a joy for me as a child, at least until I was about ten. It was a day when I wasn't scared, or angry, or sad, or lacking trust in my mother. It was a day that I knew that she could be counted on. And that is a wonderful thing.

But it is so sad that there was only one or two days a year that I could feel that way about her. The fact that Christmas and my birthday were so hugely different than the rest of the year is not a good thing. I looked forward to those holidays with such a passion because they were safe days. I don't want my children to look forward to safe days, I want every day to be a safe day.

So I comfort them when they cry, I don't scream at them, I don't hit them, I feed them healthy foods and wear them when they need some extra snuggles. Every child deserves those basics in life, to live a life where they trust their family.

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