Monday, September 14, 2009


As I'm preparing for the New Year (Rosh Hashanah) and doing a study on the sermon on the mount, I can honestly say I don't understand why people don't think that eating pork is okay. Or not following the law is okay. It truly doesn't make sense to me.

All the while I'll admit I love bacon and crave it ;)

Sunday, September 13, 2009


It is with a bit of sadness that I say goodbye, or perhaps only see you later to homeschooling.

I always assumed I would homeschool. I wore my babies, slept with them by my side, though not traditional co sleeping, responded to their needs, and nurtured their nature and spirit. I assumed and hoped that the natural next step would be to homeschool them. It was my dream, and what I wanted to do. Beyond that I felt like it was what all the "good" Christian mamas did with their babies. I couldn't bear the thought of letting them go away from me for long hours during the day in an environment that I wasn't a part of.

But last winter the sailor went away for two weeks and I realized that I wasn't good on my own full time with the kids. It wasn't that I couldn't do it, but I wasn't good at it. I was alone. While I have built a great group of friends here that I know I can count on, I'm not sure that homeschooling is an option without my husband here for extended periods of time. I really struggled for the time that he was gone, and was not a good mother. So I enrolled the bee into a two day a week preschool program. My mothering improved greatly and our lives became much better.

We intentionally took the summer "off" to see how things progressed this summer. It wasn't good. I was not able to manage my ADD and work with my children AND not lose my patience with them. After an almost hellish summer my husband and I decided that homeschooling might not be the best path for us.

During the summer we also had the bee re enrolled in speech therapy. She has a speech delay, but she tests far above her age. She is freakishly smart. I don't want to be 'that' mom, but my daughter is really advanced for her age. I wasn't sure that my ADD combined with her intelligence, and my own lack of patience would provide a positive homeschool environment.

That all being said, we are still open to homeschooling. We want our children to thrive, and I'm not convinced that always happens in a homeschool environment, but I'm also not always convinced that it happens in a school environment. I've finally come to a place where I realize that different things work for different families. I'm not cut out at this point in time to be a homeschooling mama. Perhaps later I will be, perhaps not.

I have the highest respect for homeschoolers, and know that more often than not they provide superior education to any public school. I may join their ranks some day. Only time will tell

an absentee summer

I've been through a lot this summer, it hasn't been a great one.

I found out a while ago that I was pregnant, only to find out a few short hours later that it was not a viable pregnancy.

My poor garden got hailed out. I have six butternut squash and one beautiful white pumpkin. And enough basil to feed Italy.

But we have been making some changes in our plans for our future. We have been spending a lot of time in prayer trying to find out where God wants us to go, and we are sure we know on one front, and not so sure on another.

We are applying to send the bee to a really good prep school here. At this point in my life, and looking at the combination of my personality and limitations with my ADD, and the bees personality and unique gifts we have decided that a prep school with a Montessori education model for the younger years might be a better fit for her. I'm surprised that we are leaning this direction since we always planned on a little homeschool, but this decision feels so right to us. I'm going to write a post soon on my emotions regarding homeschooling, because they are pretty big right now (good big)

I'm also returning to school in the spring and plan on pursuing an education degree and want to teach high school.

The rapid change in our lives feels right and both the sailor and I are at peace about this. We are both very good at making decisions "quickly" but they are almost always right when we do. Long drawn out decisions often mean we aren't pursuing the right path.